Moving Pictures…

Ok, it’s been an age and a half since I’ve written.  I went to Tanzania on a Year-of-Service, started a blog for that which didn’t really work out as the internet was not reliable enough over there, came back, and realized that I missed blogging but that I needed more direction, more of a purpose if I were to try it again.  So that is why I have started a new blog:

http://movingfilms.wordpress.com/

This blog is my attempt to tease out the spiritual content of films, to use movies as a springboard for discussions of faith, ethics, morality, and spirit.  I hope that you check it out.

As for this blog, I am thinking of re-engaging in it as well though I will have to think of how.  I may make it a clearing house for articles, links, and ideas regarding the idea of peace.  Or I may just make it my personal blog.  I don’t know.  But for now if you are interested in what I am writing check out my other blog.

I hope in the future these two blogs can work in tandem.

But What Dreams May Come?

Lately I have been having many bizarre dreams.  Or rather I’ve been remembering them…

I know that we all dream every night, but I usually don’t remember them unless we’ve woken up in the middle of them.  In fact there are very few dreams in my life that stick out to me.  But since February, when I had a bout of insomnia, and now in March with waking up every day before dawn (see last post), I remember most my dreams.  Most of them have slipped away because I didn’t write them down, but I’d like to recount a few now.

The first dream occurred recently after my trip to Nicaragua and I think it was heavily influenced by that journey.  In the dream I was spelunking through lush jungle in Honduras with Bradley and Cynthia.  There were stone caves and waterfalls everywhere, and we were searching for an ancient Baha’i Temple, one that had been lost to civilization for thousands of years.  (This is intriguing since the faith is only about 150 years old)  Anyway, when we found it, the temple looked a lot how I imagine the hanging gardens of Babylon would have.  Then, in the middle of this forest, next to a cave, adjacent to the temple was a pay phone.  What it would be doing in this place that no humans have stepped foot in for thousands of years, I have no idea.  I, of course, placed a call to my family.

Suddenly I was transported in mind to the other side of the call, as if this were a film, and it turned out my family was in a large, elaborate banquet hall.  It was so big that it had a balcony.  This hall was filled with round tables and fancy chairs.  It turns out they were planning the reception to my wedding.  Who I was getting married to I have no idea, but they were all fighting over whether we should have filet mignon or beef stroganoff (I eat neither) and whether the napkins should be peach or sunset.  This is about when I woke up.

This dream was followed by another where I was in upstate New York at a place called Silver Bay on Lake George.  This was a place that my family would vacation every summer all throughout my childhood.  However in this dream it was transformed into a college, in which I was enrolling as a freshman.  This was weird because it was slightly future me, a me that holds a B.A. from GW and an M.A. from Rutgers, yet was going back to undergrad for some reason.  That, and I was not on the ball.  So when I went to the Auditorium-turned-bookstore I hadn’t ordered any of the books and had to hunt them all down.  Then later I went to what had been the gameshop in real life but was now a restaurant and bar, and for some reason everyone was trying to hook me up with the bar tender who ending up groping my ‘lovely lady lumps’ and when I called him out on it everyone said I deserved it because I was a tease, and I ran outside and a chase ensued.  After running all around, inside and outside, on roofs and on docks, I woke up.

The third dream I had also involved me getting education I already have.  For some reason I was posing as a third-grader and nobody seemed to catch on that I’m really 23.  We were all sitting in those tiny desks with your name pasted on them, and I had to keep remembering not to use ‘grown-up words’ lest I give myself away.  Then I went to my locker, and it was filled with fake candles, the electric ones that people put in their windows around the holidays.  For some reason this seemed highly incriminating to me and I had to slam the locker before being outed as a non-third-grader.  Then I grabbed the bathroom pass, rushed out the door and woke up.

All these dreams have been getting me thinking about how creative and twisted the subconscious is.  These dreams all felt very real when I was in them, but also had a sense of unreality to them.  Every time I was aware that this was not the world I was from, or rather that it was somehow incongruent.  In the first dream while I thought hunting for the temple was completely normal, I still knew that my parents planning my wedding to some guy I’d never met was completely abnormal.  In the second one, while I knew that I already held degrees, I for some reason thought it was necessary to complete undergrad a second time.  Maybe I wanted to be a science or language major, but didn’t know it?  All I know is that I was compelled.  In the third dream it wasn’t me as a third grader, but a poser, so I knew this wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

All of this had left me quite befuddled, but then I came across this beautiful passage that I feel sheds light on the mystery of dreams and their relation to reality:

“As to thy question concerning the worlds of God. Know thou of a truth that the worlds of God are countless in their number, and infinite in their range. None can reckon or comprehend them except God, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise. Consider thy state when asleep. Verily, I say, this phenomenon is the most mysterious of the signs of God amongst men, were they to ponder it in their hearts. Behold how the thing which thou hast seen in thy dream is, after a considerable lapse of time, fully realized. Had the world in which thou didst find thyself in thy dream been identical with the world in which thou livest, it would have been necessary for the event occurring in that dream to have transpired in this world at the very moment of its occurrence. Were it so, you yourself would have borne witness unto it.

This being not the case, however, it must necessarily follow that the world in which thou livest is different and apart from that which thou hast experienced in thy dream. This latter world hath neither beginning nor end. It would be true if thou wert to contend that this same world is, as decreed by the All-Glorious and Almighty God, within thy proper self and is wrapped up within thee. It would equally be true to maintain that thy spirit, having transcended the limitations of sleep and having stripped itself of all earthly attachment, hath, by the act of God, been made to traverse a realm which lieth hidden in the innermost reality of this world. Verily I say, the creation of God embraceth worlds besides this world, and creatures apart from these creatures. In each of these  worlds He hath ordained things which none can search except Himself, the All-Searching, the All-Wise. Do thou meditate on that which We have revealed unto thee, that thou mayest discover the purpose of God, thy Lord, and the Lord of all worlds. In these words the mysteries of Divine Wisdom have been treasured. We have refrained from dwelling upon this theme owing to the sorrow that hath encompassed Us from the actions of them that have been created through Our words, if ye be of them that will hearken unto Our Voice.”

(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 151)

Material Fast, Spiritual Feast

I love this time of year. The month of Ala (Loftiness) in the Baha’i Faith is a month of Fasting. From sunrise to sunset Baha’is from age 15 to 70 abstain from food and drink for 19 days. It is a time of spiritual cleansing and rebirth before the new year, which occurs on the Spring Equinox. During this month I get up before sunrise, pray and have breakfast before watching the dawn splendor. And then I am surprised at how the challenge of not consuming food turns out to be barely a challenge at all. The key is prayer. Whenever I get hungry I turn my thoughts towards God and through prayer I am able to transcend my material self.

This morning my Dad jested that he was surprised to see me up during the daylight, commenting that he was beginning to worry that I was becoming nocturnal. I explained it was the Fast, and he responded “I didn’t think the Baha’is had any weird rules.” This took me aback a little. Fasting is a spiritual activity that occurs in just about every religion so I never thought it would be viewed as ‘weird’, but in this increasingly material and secular society I guess it could be viewed that way. I think these are the two biggest challenges of the fast for me: changing my sleeping habits, and responding to other people’s views with grace. When you are tired and haven’t eaten it’s easy to be cranky, but the whole point of the Fast is to challenge oneself to grow spiritually, which includes treating all with love and friendliness.

Many people challenge me saying that it isn’t healthy to abstain from food and drink. Sure, for a longer period of time that would be true, but I make sure to eat before dawn and to break fast at sunset in a balanced way. I think it is also important to experience hunger to develop sympathy for those in this world for which hunger is not a choice. In the end I am choosing to give up food because I see a spiritual benefit from it, much like how Gandhi performed hunger strikes or Catholics give up a luxury for Lent, but it is still a choice. At the same time I don’t see it as a choice because in my faith it is an obligation, a pillar to show my devotion to and gratitude for God. I fast because I love God and this is my way of both thanking God and developing spiritual tools to walk the path of love and service. And with that I will leave you with a quote about the Fast which lifts my heart:

“These are the days of the Fast. Blessed is the one who through the heat generated by the Fast increaseth his love, and who, with joy and radiance, ariseth to perform worthy deeds. Verily, He guideth whomsoever He willeth to the straight path.” ~Baha’u'llah

The Journey

Recently I came back from visiting friends in Nicaragua. During that trip I learned a lot and since I’ve been reflecting on the friendships made, my spiritual journey, and what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I feel like the concourse on high and divine inspiration help make things happen. Like you only need to take one step in the right direction and they carry you five more. To explain what I mean, let’s take the trip to Nica as an example. My friends there are two Baha’is whom I love very much as they have been there for me and are just such wonderful, warm, giving people. The woman I traveled with was a casual friend I met through them. In August, at the going away part we talked briefly about visiting Nica in January. I hadn’t talked with her again until I received a call in late December asking if I still wanted to go. Now people often idlely talk about taking trips places together, and until that phone call I hadn’t been sure how serious she had been. It would have been easy at that point to be close minded, blow her off, and say it was too late to plan it. But I thought that would look badly on both me and the faith since I would be going back on my word. Afterall, “Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues” ~Abdu’l Baha. So I said I’d still be interested and we looked for fares. We found something affordable, I called my friends in Nica and they said they’d be delighted to have us, even if it was last minute, and we went. And everything went right. The flights were on time, we had beautiful weather, and the casual friend became a good friend. And on the last night she told me that it meant a lot to her that I had kept my word because, other than her boyfriend, she’s never had someone who followed through on travel plans before.

And the thing is, before I was a Baha’i I might not have either, even though I love traveling, because of fear. Traveling to a foreign country, especially a ‘third world’ one where the travel is more adventurous due to different infrastructure, when one does not know the language, with someone you barely know is enough to scare most people off. But since becoming a Baha’i I’ve worked harder to keep my word and not to backbite as both are virtues highly valued in the faith. Also, since there are so few Baha’is, I hate making mistakes because it’s as if I am an ambassador of the faith and an example to people. I may be the only Baha’i people know so if I gossip, or lie, it makes the faith look bad. So the point I was trying to make was, that when I make a step in the right direction (i.e. trying to keep my word) I feel like the concourse on high supports that and helps bring the other pieces together, and that is a wonderful feeling.

And that gets me onto the topic of the spiritual journey. In college I looked all over to find my place. I took philosophy classes, eastern religion classes, went to church, and mass, and Hillel, joined a fratenity, and a psychology of spirituality class. And all of those were important. Heck, I met a good friend and roommate in the Eastern religion class. But when I finally accepted the Baha’i faith, I found my place. And the thing is, that was just the beginning. The faith was a path I stepped onto. And that path led me all over, and finally to Nicaragua where I felt at home in my friends’ house in San Ramon. It was the first time I lived in the house where the majority of people were Baha’i, which meant small things like respect for prayer. At home it’s almost like I have the pray in secret. I mean, prayer is a deeply personal act anyway, but at home I fear interuption. In Nica, it was understood. That, and the house was simple. Since my friends are only living there a year, they decided to be minimal so they wouldn’t have to transport crap all over. And that was refreshing since I don’t think I’ve ever lived in a place that wasn’t full of clutter. It’s like I attract it, am too attached to the material, and it was nice to be free from it.

And in Nica, I learned something else that was meaningful. I learned the true meaning of “The earth is but one country, and mankind is it’s citizens” ~Baha’u'llah. I was able to transcend the language barrier and make friends with Nicaraguans through butchered Spanglish, and lots of smiles and laughs. And it really inspired me to learn Spanish now that I am stateside again. I’ve never had a desire to until this year. I chose German in middle school because everyone said Spanish was easy and German was hard. But now I’m glad that I’ve been given another chance. And next year I would love to spend it in a Spanish speaking country, doing a year of service for the faith, helping to make the world a little bit better, being humbled, and learning Spanish. But more on that in another post.

And to end, I have a quote that I read today that I feel broaches many of the topics I talked about today, from seeking truth to the power of your word:

“He must never seek to exalt himself above any one, must wash away from the tablet of his heart every trace of pride and vain-glory, must cling unto patience and resignation, observe silence and refrain from idle talk. For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century.”

(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 264)

Hello world!

Contemplate on the quote that inspired my moniker:

“It is not for him to pride himself who loveth his own country, but rather for him who loveth the whole world. The earth is but one country, and mankind its citizens.”

(Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 250)